Good Morning Girls!  If your friend was to meet your husband for the first time would her thoughts be "So this is the no good buffoon you have talked about", or would they be "So this is your man, the one I've heard so many great things about"?  In other words, how do you speak about your man when he is not around.  Do you lift him up and exhort him?  Or do you drag him down in the mud, blaming him for all of the crap in your life?  A friend of mine once said that whenever she hears someone bad mouth her husband she thinks "you know, he's not the idiot, you are.  Because hey, you are the one who married him".  in other words, when you are busy tearing down your man, you are also tearing down your own judgment and decision making skills.  You are the one who at one time believed he was your Prince Charming.  So, who's the bigger fool?  Now don't misunderstand me.  I am not saying you can never turn to a friend if you are struggling in your marriage.  I am not saying you should lie about your situation.  I am not saying you should hide any emotional or physical abuse that is occurring in your relationship.  I am talking about the gals who sit around and rip on their men for random things.  You know what I'm talking about.  You are probably having a flashback right now of a recent conversation where this was occurring.  Maybe you were the one doing the ripping.  If you find you struggle with your words when it comes to your man, take a break from speaking.  Meditate on the good things he does for you.  Think about the fact that he is at work while you are at lunch with friends bad mouthing him.  Ask the Lord to show you the motive behind your words.  Are you out to get a laugh?  Are you trying to make yourself feel better?  Or is there some serious resentments and hurts you are feeling towards him?  Ask the Lord for help.  One of the most powerful things you can do to change your heart towards your spouse is to pray for him.  I love the book Power of the Praying Wife.  Yes, if you are angry with him, it initially does seem unfair that you have to be the one to pray for him, but give it a try.  You will be surprised at the change it makes in just 30 days.  Keep in mind the change won't necessarily be in his behavior.  It may very well be in yours!  When I experienced this a few years ago I entered in with a hurt and hardened heart.  I ended with a soft and loving one.  No, his behavior hadn't really changed.  He still left his dirty clothes on the side of the bed, and not in the laundry basket.  However, in the big picture of our life, this didn't seem to matter much anymore.  The longer I walked in love towards him, the more he started to make small changes.  A friend of mine wrote me a note this summer that included a comment that blessed me beyond measure.  She wrote "you always have nothing but good things to say about Tom.  You are always lifting him up and talking about what a good man he is.  I am always impressed.  You are a great example for the rest of us.".  This comment really floored me as I didn't realize my words towards him and about him have changed so much that someone else would notice.  It has truly made a difference in my marriage.....and it will for yours also!

Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders

Love you all-
Jen