Good Morning Girls!  How were you greeted by your family this morning?  Did your husband say "There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!"?  Did your children give you a standing ovation and say "oh bless you dear mother" when you served them breakfast?  NO?  Are you sure?  Think about it....are you sure?  I'm not being silly here.  You see, I think sometimes when we read this verse we roll our eyes and say "yeah, right.  like that will ever happen".  The thing is, for many of you, it does happen.  It happens every day, but you don't see it.  You don't see it because you are not paying attention.  For years I wanted Tom to shower me with verbal blessings and praises.  I would get hurt and angry if I did something that I believed warranted praise, and didn't receive any.  I would antagonize him and would say things like "you don't even like me" simply so I could engage him in an argument so I could spew all of my hurt feelings. This only made him think I was telling him he was not a good husband.  He heard me saying, "you do not meet my expectations.  You are not good enough.  I wish I was with someone else".  Now, a man who feels these things is definitely not going to put himself out there and shower you with praise.  No way, he's already thinking you have mentally left him.  Why would he put himself out there for rejection?  So, the result was for him to retreat more, and for me to verbally attack, whine and cry about how he didn't love me.  Do you see how this vicious cycle only amplified both of our feelings?  It wasn't until I stopped trying to make him show his love the way I wanted him to that I began to feel loved.  By taking the time to understand him and watch him, and see how he responds to people, I began to see just how much he loves me.  I read books on marriage, on what men needed to feel respected.  I prayed for him.  I let him be him, and simply trusted that he loved me.  By letting him express himself his way, he felt more confident in sharing more with me.  It has been quite a journey.  We have been married almost 11 years.  I would say things really started coming together just 3 years ago.  That's 2 years of dating, and 8 years of marriage to get to this place of understanding!  Deep down, I always knew he loved me, but now I see and feel it.  He still isn't one to shower me with verbal praise.  Sometimes I say to him "I need you to tell be 5 things you love about me".  He still hates it, but now he also understands my need for it, so he indulges me, knowing that it is about me.  It's not about him not measuring up.  So girls, if you are feeling unloved, take a step back and really look at things.  Are you pushing to hard?  Are you looking for love your way instead of what comes natural to your husband?  There are plenty of resources out there to help.  Chances are he is trying to tell you "you surpass them all"....are you listening?

Proverbs 31:28-29 Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her: "there are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!"

Love you all-
Jen