Good Afternoon Girls!  I can honestly say I am feeling much better.  For the last year I have been praying and believing God to restore our finances and way of life.  For the most part I have been strong, happy, and at peace with my life during these changes.  I have had some big lifestyle changes, but for the most part, I have seen the benefit in all of them.  Sure there have been a few days of frustration, questioning, and even a little self pity, but for the most part, I have felt blessed.
I have received more blessings this year than any other.  I have been given awesome gifts of clothing and household items.  More importantly I have received the gifts of time and friendship.  Whether is it a shoulder to lean on, prayer,  or an offer to watch my kids, the relationships in my life have never been as important as they have been in the last year.  My "Girls" have kept me going when there were days I wanted to quit.  They have stood in agreement with me as we pray for my life to be restored........
And then today it hit me.  Maybe it's time for me to quit praying for restoration.  Not quit as in give up.  But quit as in let go.  I have stood in faith that my previous lifestyle will be restored.  But in doing that am I praying for my desire, or for God's will?   One thing I have learned over the last year is that God will provide for us the things we truly need.  Maybe not the things we think we want....but the things we need.  Maybe the things I have been praying for to be restored are things that have gotten in the way of God's plan for my life....
All weekend I felt as though I were at a crossroads.  I had to decide what I truly believed in.  I had to check my faith.  It is easy to say "God is good".  I truly believe that with all of my heart.  However, for the last year when I have said "God is good", it is with the confidence that my life will be restored to the way it was.  This weekend I had to ask myself "If such and such happens.....will you still believe God is good?".  Will you be able to stand up before the Girls and say with the utmost conviction "God loves you.  God is good.", or will you say those things and secretly wonder "but I still don't know why He let this happen".  Will I spend hours and hours trying to re think what we did wrong? Would I think my faith had failed?  Did I not pray enough?  Did I not obey enough? Did I speak my negative circumstance into fruition?
Well Girls, I feel as though I have been set free!  I am free because I am no longer clinging to the belief that God will restore my life.  No.  I am now praying that God will impart His will in all areas of my life.  As we learned today at HomeMakers, my landscape is simply changing.  I don't have to like it.  It's okay if it takes awhile to embrace it.  I may not even see the good in it right away.  But I know that whatever the outcome of our situation is, I will be given the grace to live it.  If my landscape literally changes, I will be able to stand before you all and say "God is good".  I will be able to say it, because I believe it.  I believe that even though I have no idea where I will be, or what my life will look like, one thing is clear......I will be living my life more in line with God's will for me than I have ever been before.
So Girls, what will my life look like a year from now?  Only God knows.....and I am done trying to guess.  I am taking God at his Word and living by todays' verse.....any of you care to join me?

Matthew 6:34 MSG Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.  God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Love you all-
Jen