Good Morning Girls!  If I were asked to describe myself the word sloth would have been nowhere near my list of qualities and character traits.  That is until yesterday.  I always thought of a sloth as someone who is lazy.  They lounge around all day not really doing anything.  You cannot tell whether they are asleep or awake because they look exactly the same either way.  So needless to say I would not fit into that description.
But Pastor Russ changed all that this weekend.  When he told us what the real meaning of being slothful is; I had only one response: "guilty as charged".  He described it as "dull, monotonous, going through the motions, having lost your drive, lost their pace, a candle that once burned bright but is now just a flicker of what it once was".  Yep, yes, uh-huh, yep, nailed it!  Pretty much described how I have been feeling off and on the last oh, I don't know anymore.  Has it been weeks, or maybe even months?  Regardless of how long it's been, one thing I know.....it's been long enough!
Now many of you may be shocked by my confession.  I mean I have been doing all the same things.  I have stuck with all my obligations.  I have encouraged others.  I have continued to take on new goals and challenges.  You wouldn't know it by looking at me.  Hey, I didn't really even know it.  It wasn't until someone else said it that I could put my finger on it.  You see, for other people, when you get slothful, you tend to quit doing some of the things you normally do.  I however do not.  Partly out of stubbornness and pride.  Partly because I simply have the discipline to "do what I need to do even when I don't feel like it".  And partly because the more off I feel, the more I cling to my routine and discipline. 
Well Girls, it's not really working for me anymore!  I lay in bed in the morning thinking of the things I need to do and put on my auto pilot hat just to get out of bed and do them.  Once I am up and moving I do okay, but I know in my heart I am not.  Underneath it all I am hot lava boiling with anger, frustration, self pity and fatigue.  One more thing and I just may overflow! 
Does this mean that I have lost my faith?  Have a been a phony all these weeks acting like I feel great?  Are all of my confessions and writings nothing but empty words and perfected "Christianese" speaking?  Absolutely not!  For it is my faith that has kept me from boiling over, and giving up completely!.  It is my faith that gives me the strength to get out of bed, even if it means starting out in auto pilot mode.  It is my writing and confessing that keeps me moving forward, believing that the things I say and read are in fact true and apply to my life.  So no, I am not concerned that I have lost my faith.  What bothers me is that I have lost my enthusiasm.
To me enthusiasm is one of the best characteristics to have.  As a sales manager if I had to choose between 2 sales people; one who knew all about the product but was dull and the other who got all the facts mixed up but was full of energy, I always chose the one with energy.  The ones with enthusiasm are teachable.  You can work with them on the facts.  The know it alls are as good as they will ever get- you can not teach enthusiasm.  Trust me, I have tried.  Sure, you get someone a little jazzed up for a short time, but true energy, excitement, and enthusiasms has to come from within. 
Enthusiasm is what moves people.  Someone who is excited about what they are doing and how they are living infects others around them.  Have you ever found yourself in a situation thinking "how did I get talked into this?" (many of my friends have)  Chances are, what got you into it was someone else's enthusiasm (right running partner?).  I mean, when someone else is so jazzed up about something, even something you previously cared nothing about, it's hard not to jump on board.  You want to go along because if you don't, you will surely miss out on something!  And even though you have no idea what it is you are missing out on, you know one thing: it sounds exciting!
And isn't that the best way for others to see the love of Christ?  Not by you knowing all the facts, quoting all the scriptures, and saying the perfect prayer.  NO.  You win people over to the Lord by your enthusiasm.  It's what sets you apart from the world.  It's what has people asking you "why are you so happy all the time?".   Your enthusiasm is more of a testimony to living a life in Christ than anything else you can share.  It is your enthusiasm that stirs people up and gets them wanting what you have.  It's much easier to share the Good News with someone who approaches you than it is to try to convince someone else in your dull, perfectly quoted scripture voice how great life is when you pray and read and (yawn) go to church every weekend........
So now what?   What is it that is taking away our enthusiasm?  I really don't know.  Pastor Russ encouraged us to take a look at what is distracting us.  I'm not sure what that is for me yet, but I tell you what- I am going to pray about it and once identified I am getting rid of it!  I hope you take some time to do the same.

2 Corinthians 9:2b In fact, it was your enthusiasm that stirred up many of the Macedonian believers to begin giving.

Love you all-
Jen