Works Girl!
Good Morning Girls! I pray you all woke up thrilled by the Lord and ready to get your joy on! This Sunday is the 10 mile race. Last night I started feeling a little nervous about it. It's funny, last Friday after Angel and I ran 8 miles, we were totally psyched. We could have run 9 miles for sure. We could have probably run 10 miles if we had the adrenaline of being at the actual race. I was even looking up half marathons. I figured "hey if I can do 10, I can do 13".
Just one week ago I was completely confident about this Sunday. This morning however, the doubt is creeping in. I still have some knee pain from Monday, and I haven't done anything since then. I am playing the "Is it better to run to stay loose, or is it better to rest" game in my head. If I rest my fear is that I will be in shock come Sunday when I go from nothing to 10. That is one of the things on my mind the last couple of days. I know I will get through it. There's no turning back now. It's simply time to fight the mental warfare that is starting. Been there. Done that. I'm not too concerned. Besides- what's the worst that could happen? I have to walk a little and bandage my pride for awhile. (please God, don't give me a lesson in humility this Sunday....ha- ha-ha-)!
The other thing on my mind regarding Sunday is "what's next?". Over the last year I have come to realize that I am very task oriented. I like programs, projects, works. If I were a super hero I would be "Works Girl!". It may seem odd, that this is new revelation to me- but it truly is. I have always thought of myself and being playful, fun, and free. And I guess I am- as long as it doesn't interfere with whatever "works" I am doing. I love to relax.....unless there is something more urgent to be done. And by urgent I mean unload the dishwasher, or switch the laundry! I am on the go, gettin' things done. I like my house in order. I like the security of a plan, program, or goal. I find it comforting. To wake up each day without a clear goal in my mind makes me panic. I feel as though I will unravel and suddenly forget how to do the basics.
Last year God blessed me with a new dear friend. She is fun, playful, and easy going. She does fun kid things, with her husband, not with her kids! Who has heard of such a thing?! If she were my super hero sidekick, she would be "Relax Girl!". Now don't get me wrong. She is not lazy. She is simply able to prioritize things differently. In her mind, when it is time to relax, it is time to relax....even if there are dishes in the sink (I know...who has heard of such a thing?!). Needless to say, she has been good for me. Sometimes I watch her, sitting all relaxed and talking and I think "how is she doing that? Does she know nobody has cleaned off the counter yet? We are still sitting here at the table, talking....but we are done eating.....isn't it time to get up and clean or something? No? We're just going to talk and relax? This is crazy! Deep breath. Okay. Hey, this is kind of nice. Wow. I was tired. This feels good. So this is what it's like to just hang out with plates on the table and stuff on the counter......interesting." The funny thing is, she was also perplexed by my discipline. She was drawn to my self discipline the same way I was drawn to her easy going personality. I believe God put us together to help each other find the middle of the road. Funny how He does that.....pairs up opposites to bring the best out in each other.
Well that was a long detour I just took. Let's get back to me (I'm laughing). As of now, come Monday morning I will have no plan, no goal, no program. I have been desperately begging for one, but so far no response. By the end of next week I will be done with all obligations. HomeMakers is over. My support group is done. The race will be done. The garage sale will be done. And there I will be turning 37......with no program. How sad.
I really don't find it surprising that every time I try to sneak a little answer out of the Lord the only response I get is "Rest". I know it is exactly what I need to do. The reason I think it is time for me to relax is this: if I am works oriented in every other area of my life, chances are I am works oriented in my relationship with the Lord. I mean seriously, if I am task oriented in my house, in my personal life, with my exercise, wouldn't it be natural that I would treat my time with the Lord the same? For example, there are days when I get in the Word with the thought of "what should I write about tomorrow?". I think even my bible time has turned into a works program. I believe I am supposed to rest. Rest in Him. I truly have no idea how. I believe He wants to show me. He wants to teach me how to truly lean on Him and not cling to my works program. He knows I love Him. I believe He wants me to know He loves me. I believe He wants to make my life easier. He wants me to feel His love and His presence. And though I am stepping out of my comfort zone, I am excited.
I confess, I hope my blog is still part of His plan. It helps me to feel connected to you all. I believe there are some of you out there who are also "Works Girls". Perhaps my journey will help you. (yes, that is my subtle way of pleading my case before the Lord.....)
So I guess I will write you all tomorrow and after that it will be one day at a time. I truly believe in my heart that even if I am to take a break from writing it will be temporary (right Lord?....hint hint nudge nudge) In fact, I believe my writing will be better than ever, as it will truly be Divinely inspired utterance!
Whether you're a Works Girl or a Relax Girl, I hope you all know how much I truly love you all. I know I don't even know some of you, but my hearts desire is that you are all filled with the love of Christ. That you may experience it, though it is too hard to understand. Oh no, this is sounding like a good bye. I am sorry, I am not ready to go down this road..............................
John 6:28-29 They replied, "We want to perform God's works, too. What should we do?" Jesus told them, "this is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent."
Love you all-
Jen
Just one week ago I was completely confident about this Sunday. This morning however, the doubt is creeping in. I still have some knee pain from Monday, and I haven't done anything since then. I am playing the "Is it better to run to stay loose, or is it better to rest" game in my head. If I rest my fear is that I will be in shock come Sunday when I go from nothing to 10. That is one of the things on my mind the last couple of days. I know I will get through it. There's no turning back now. It's simply time to fight the mental warfare that is starting. Been there. Done that. I'm not too concerned. Besides- what's the worst that could happen? I have to walk a little and bandage my pride for awhile. (please God, don't give me a lesson in humility this Sunday....ha- ha-ha-)!
The other thing on my mind regarding Sunday is "what's next?". Over the last year I have come to realize that I am very task oriented. I like programs, projects, works. If I were a super hero I would be "Works Girl!". It may seem odd, that this is new revelation to me- but it truly is. I have always thought of myself and being playful, fun, and free. And I guess I am- as long as it doesn't interfere with whatever "works" I am doing. I love to relax.....unless there is something more urgent to be done. And by urgent I mean unload the dishwasher, or switch the laundry! I am on the go, gettin' things done. I like my house in order. I like the security of a plan, program, or goal. I find it comforting. To wake up each day without a clear goal in my mind makes me panic. I feel as though I will unravel and suddenly forget how to do the basics.
Last year God blessed me with a new dear friend. She is fun, playful, and easy going. She does fun kid things, with her husband, not with her kids! Who has heard of such a thing?! If she were my super hero sidekick, she would be "Relax Girl!". Now don't get me wrong. She is not lazy. She is simply able to prioritize things differently. In her mind, when it is time to relax, it is time to relax....even if there are dishes in the sink (I know...who has heard of such a thing?!). Needless to say, she has been good for me. Sometimes I watch her, sitting all relaxed and talking and I think "how is she doing that? Does she know nobody has cleaned off the counter yet? We are still sitting here at the table, talking....but we are done eating.....isn't it time to get up and clean or something? No? We're just going to talk and relax? This is crazy! Deep breath. Okay. Hey, this is kind of nice. Wow. I was tired. This feels good. So this is what it's like to just hang out with plates on the table and stuff on the counter......interesting." The funny thing is, she was also perplexed by my discipline. She was drawn to my self discipline the same way I was drawn to her easy going personality. I believe God put us together to help each other find the middle of the road. Funny how He does that.....pairs up opposites to bring the best out in each other.
Well that was a long detour I just took. Let's get back to me (I'm laughing). As of now, come Monday morning I will have no plan, no goal, no program. I have been desperately begging for one, but so far no response. By the end of next week I will be done with all obligations. HomeMakers is over. My support group is done. The race will be done. The garage sale will be done. And there I will be turning 37......with no program. How sad.
I really don't find it surprising that every time I try to sneak a little answer out of the Lord the only response I get is "Rest". I know it is exactly what I need to do. The reason I think it is time for me to relax is this: if I am works oriented in every other area of my life, chances are I am works oriented in my relationship with the Lord. I mean seriously, if I am task oriented in my house, in my personal life, with my exercise, wouldn't it be natural that I would treat my time with the Lord the same? For example, there are days when I get in the Word with the thought of "what should I write about tomorrow?". I think even my bible time has turned into a works program. I believe I am supposed to rest. Rest in Him. I truly have no idea how. I believe He wants to show me. He wants to teach me how to truly lean on Him and not cling to my works program. He knows I love Him. I believe He wants me to know He loves me. I believe He wants to make my life easier. He wants me to feel His love and His presence. And though I am stepping out of my comfort zone, I am excited.
I confess, I hope my blog is still part of His plan. It helps me to feel connected to you all. I believe there are some of you out there who are also "Works Girls". Perhaps my journey will help you. (yes, that is my subtle way of pleading my case before the Lord.....)
So I guess I will write you all tomorrow and after that it will be one day at a time. I truly believe in my heart that even if I am to take a break from writing it will be temporary (right Lord?....hint hint nudge nudge) In fact, I believe my writing will be better than ever, as it will truly be Divinely inspired utterance!
Whether you're a Works Girl or a Relax Girl, I hope you all know how much I truly love you all. I know I don't even know some of you, but my hearts desire is that you are all filled with the love of Christ. That you may experience it, though it is too hard to understand. Oh no, this is sounding like a good bye. I am sorry, I am not ready to go down this road..............................
John 6:28-29 They replied, "We want to perform God's works, too. What should we do?" Jesus told them, "this is the only work God wants from you: Believe in the one he has sent."
Love you all-
Jen
Comments