Good Morning Girls!  Last week I told you all that I felt my faith was constantly evolving.  Just when I think I have things figured out, I experience something totally new that makes my head tilt.  I have found that my beliefs do not always line up with my reality and so I have to take a look at them each individually to see where the error is.  Has my belief system strayed from what the Word truly says? Or is my sense of reality somehow distorted?   I have found each to be the case at various points in my life.  
Along with my faith, I find my writing evolving.  It seems to be morphing into something new before my eyes.  The things that my heart desires to share are totally different than they were just months earlier.  Even the method in which I share is changing.  I don't know that it is necessarily any better.  It is just different.  It is different, just as I am different.  I am excited about the things in my heart- about the ideas and stories that are running through my head non stop.  I wish I had my own private secretary following me around so I could "dictate" the stories, thoughts, and revelations as I experience them!  I keep reminding myself that the Holy Spirit will bring to remembrance the things I am supposed to share at just the right time, so there is no need to panic.  Still, part of me wants to check myself into a hotel and hide and write until everything swimming in my head is out on paper.  This isn't an option however because my family would be running around town naked and hungry and I don't think that would be so good.  So, I will patiently write when I can and trust God in His timing.
I tell you these things because my blog is changing.  I still plan on writing as often as I can, Monday- Friday being my goal.  it's just that instead of me taking a verse and sharing my experience with the verse, I am simply go to be writing the different ideas that are in my heart and my mind.  Some days may have scripture, some may not.  If you are looking for a "verse of the day", there are plenty of excellent ones out there.  Joseph Prince, Joel Osteen, Beth Moore, (or is it Beth Jones? I always confuse them) all have daily e-mail devotions you can subscribe to for free.  They are waiting for you in your inbox each morning.....a little more reliably than yours truly!
You have all been so patient with me.  You have watched me change direction many times.  Some of you may have finally decided I am a nut and you can't deal with my flightiness, but others of you have found the fact that I am a just a little more nuts than you to be the one thing you find comfort in.  Don't think I am putting myself down here.  When I claim to be a nut, it is with pride.  I will never think like a normal person.  I don't even know what normal is.....I just know I don't want to be it.
So once again the journey that is my life is changing.  You've seen me do this before.  This could be a permanent change. This could be for a day....who knows.  I am going to write from the heart- unedited, unguarded.  I know many of you love the fact that I tell it like it is, I am never too proud or embarrassed to call myself out.  You may however, be surprised to know that I have been holding back a little.  Those who know me well will tell you I am fun to be around- because even in the worst of times I am laughing and saying things that are not quite normal, or even appropriate.  My friends tell me they love me partly because I say things that most people think.....but would never dare say.
I guess I am finally ready to take this one Girl carnival of fun on the road.  It is my hope that in the midst of laughter, you will see a little bit of yourself and a lot of the Lord.  He is my true source of joy.  I used to imagine God shaking his head when I said certain things, so I tried not to say them....but then I remembered that God searches and knows my heart, so I might as well say it out loud......He knows I'm thinking it anyway.
If you find life inside my head and heart to be a little too scary for you, I understand.  Believe me......I understand!  You can choose to walk away and lead a normal life.  I however, can't.  I am stuck with me.  I have tried to run from myself.  I have up and moved thousands of miles trying to get away from myself.  Problem is, I kept showing up at the new place.  There was no hiding from me.  Maybe I should have been a CIA operative- the way I was good at finding myself no matter how well I tried to hide!  Oh well, another missed career opportunity- I have a lot of those also.
I believe that if I didn't have children I would have up and moved this summer.  I wanted so desperately to escape my life.  I'm sure I could have talked my husband into moving out west.  Sometimes I feel the Lord blessed me with children to save me from myself.  They are my earthly angels- keeping me accountable to reality....not allowing me to run from myself anymore. 
So I invite you to come along with me.  See where this latest adventure leads.  One thing I know- if it is not right, the Lord will tenderly re-direct me.....again.

My sister-in -law called me a few months ago.  She said she saw a sign with the following quote and it reminded her of me.  I took it as it was intended........ I took it as a compliment.

"A sturdy oak tree is nothing more than a nut that simply held it's ground."

Holding ground day by day,

Jen